Expectations
Expectations
Section: Values ⋅ Dimensions ⋅ Ethics ⋅ Strengths ⋅ Love Languages ⋅ Virtues ⋅ Learning ⋅ Fairness ⋅ Conflict
Why is common sense not as common as we'd like? Because there are a lot of paradigms that need to align for us to reason the same. Below are some examples. Most if not all of this is the result of research that only began in the 20th century as a result of international corporations needing to have teams from different countries with different cultures report to common leaders and accomplish common goals. Common sense is understandably different for people with different fundamental expectations. Here are some examples of the potential differences:
Values are feelings with an arrow to it: they have a plus and a minus side. They deal with:
- evil vs. good
- dirty vs. clean
- ugly vs. beautiful
- unnatural vs. natural
- abnormal vs. normal
- paradoxical vs. logical
- irrational vs. rational
- power distance
- individualism
- masculinity
- uncertainty avoidance
- long term orientation
- indulgence
Kindle, website
- independent / interdependent How do I derive my identity?
- egalitarianism / status What is my preference for how my group should be structured and how power should be distributed?
- risk / certainty How do I make decisions in uncertain or ambiguous situations?
- direct / indirect How do I communicate requests, tasks and feedback?
- task / relationship When working on new projects, do I prefer to address tasks or relationships first?
Philosophers often distinguish between two types of values, intrinsic and instrumental. Any value that serves some further end or good is called an instrumental value because it is tied to some external standard. Automobiles, computers, and money are examples of goods that have instrumental value. Values such as life and happiness, on the other hand, are intrinsic because they are valued for their own sake.
- consequenc-based ethical theories (John Stuart Mill)
- duty-based ethical theories (Immanuel Kant)
- contract-based ethical theories (Thomas Hobbes)
- character-based ethical theories (Aristotle)
- Achiever® ...have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.
- Activator® ...can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.
- Adaptability® ...prefer to "go with the flow." They tend to be "now" people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
- Analytical® ...search for reasons and causes. They have the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation.
- Arranger™ ...can organize, but they also have a flexibility that complements this ability. They like to figure out how all of the pieces and resources can be arranged for maximum productivity.
- Belief® ...have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.
- Command® ...have presence. They can take control of a situation and make decisions.
- Communication® ...generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.
- Competition® ...measure their progress against the performance of others. They strive to win first place and revel in contests.
- Connectedness® ...have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
- Consistency® / Fairness™ ...are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. They try to treat everyone in the world fairly by setting up clear rules and adhering to them.
- Context® ...enjoy thinking about the past. They understand the present by researching its history.
- Deliberative® ...are best described by the serious care they take in making decisions or choices. They anticipate the obstacles.
- Developer® ...recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
- Discipline™ ...enjoy routine and structure. Their world is best described by the order they create.
- Empathy™ ...can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations.
- Focus™ ...can take a direction, follow through, and make the corrections necessary to stay on track. They prioritize, then act.
- Futuristic® ...are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.
- Harmony® ...look for consensus. They don't enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.
- Ideation® ...are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
- Inclusiveness® / Includer® ...are accepting of others. They show awareness of those who feel left out, and make an effort to include them.
- Individualization® ...are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
- Input® ...have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
- Intellection® ...are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.
- Learner® ...have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
- Maximizer® ...focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
- Positivity® ...have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.
- Relator® ...enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.
- Responsibility® ...take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.
- Restorative® ...are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.
- Self-Assurance® ...feel confident in their ability to manage their own lives. They possess an inner compass that gives them confidence that their decisions are right.
- Significance® ...want to be very important in the eyes of others. They are independent and want to be recognized.
- Strategic™ ...create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
- Woo® ...love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Commitment Making a plan and putting it into practice
- Compassion Caring enough to do something about someone else's need
- Contentment Deciding to be happy with what you've got
- Conviction Standing for what is right, even when others don't
- Cooperation Working together to do more than you can do alone
- Courage Being brave enough to do what you should do even when you're afraid
- Creativity Using your imagination to do something unique
- Determination Deciding it's worth it to finish what you've started
- Discipline Doing what you need to do now so you can grow stronger
- Faith Trusting in what you can’t see because of what you can see
- Forgiveness Deciding that someone who has wronged you doesn't have to pay
- Friendship Spending time with someone you trust and enjoy
- Generosity Making someone's day by giving something away
- Grace Getting something great you don't deserve
- Gratitude Letting others know you see how they've helped you
- Honesty Choosing to be truthful in whatever you say and do
- Honor Letting someone know you see how valuable they really are
- Hope Believing that something good can come out of something bad
- Humility Putting others first by giving up what you think you deserve
- Individuality Discovering who you are meant to be so you can make a difference
- Initiative Seeing what needs to be done and doing it
- Joy Finding a way to be happy, even when things don't go your way
- Kindness Showing others they are valuable by how you treat them
- Knowledge Discovering something new so you can be better at whatever you do
- Love Choosing to give someone your time and friendship no matter what
- Obedience Trusting those who lead you by doing what you’re asked to do
- Patience Waiting until later for what you want now
- Peace Proving that you care more about others than winning an argument
- Perseverance Refusing to give up when life gets hard
- Respect Showing others they are important by what you say and do
- Responsibility Proving you can be trusted with what is expected of you
- Self-control Choosing to do what you should do, not what you want to do
- Service Lending a hand to help someone else
- Trust Putting your confidence in someone you can depend on
- Uniqueness Learning more about others so you can know more about yourself
- Wisdom Finding out what you should do and doing it
- Visual (spatial) prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding
- Aural (auditory-musical) prefer using sound and music
- Verbal (linguistic) prefer using words, both in speech and writing
- Physical (kinesthetic) prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch
- Logical (mathematical) prefer using logic, reasoning and systems
- Social (interpersonal) prefer to learn in groups or with other people
- Solitary (intrapersonal) prefer to work alone and use self-study
- Egalitarianism everyone gets the same (equality)
- Meritocracy everyone gets what they earn (merit)
- Avoider shies away from conflict, hoping if the conflict is ignored it will go away (I don't count, you don't count)
- Accomodator does everything possible to insure that the other person's needs are met while ignoring their own (I don't count, you count)
- Competitor sees a win/lose situation and agressively tries to meet own needs with little regard for the needs of others (I count, you don't count)
- Compromiser seeks to split the difference and divide the object of conflict among the parties equally (we must both count equally)
- Collaborator works together to find integrative solutions that address both sides needs (I count, you count) [This is the ideal]
Note, a "zelig" is someone "who is able to change their appearance, behaviour, or attitudes, so as to be comfortable in any situation." -Orphic
