Biblical Gender Identity
Section: Intro ⋅ Single ⋅ Marriage ⋅ Adultery ⋅ Living Together Not Married ⋅ Prostitution ⋅ Cross Dressing ⋅ Homosexuality ⋅ Animals ⋅ Incest ⋅ Self ⋅ Cycle ⋅ Polygamy ⋅ Divorce ⋅ Abortion ⋅ Adoption ⋅ Style ⋅
Disclaimers:
1. This is a mature topic only intended for people who've at least begun puberty. If you are less than 13 years old then I pray you don't have any reason to concern yourself with this yet, and you should ask a trustworthy adult before reading this. (My Family in the Bible page (here) is meant for all ages.)
2. This summary is not intended for general counseling, it is for those who want to know what the Bible says on this topic, and for those who claim the Bible is silent or says the opposite, plus a little commentary to get us started on what it means and how all this fits in a Biblical worldview.⚤
In the book of Acts, the apostles were presented with what seemed a dilemma. Non-Jews were becoming believers in Christ but were understandably not excited about the Jewish ritual of circumcision (given to the Jews by God Himself as a command in Genesis 17:10). When you read the story in Acts 15, you see it caused quite a stir. The apostles and elders met, including Peter (the one whom Jesus renames in Matthew 16:18), James (maternal brother of Jesus: Matthew 13:55, Galatians 1:19), and Paul (whose writings became half the New Testament). Their conclusion was exceptionally short (especially for a bunch of pastors). Of the whole Law, they summarized in Acts 15:28-29 to avoid four things, one of which was sexual immorality. (Repeated in Acts 21:25.) In all of scripture there is no other conclusion that has a more impressive human endorsement list.
Some people will try to quote a handful of verses that advise us not to judge each other, including Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37-42, and Romans 2:1-11. Ok, but then there are John 7:24 and 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, which clarify that we are instructed to use judgment. The difference is we are supposed to demonstrate discernment (Psalm 119:125, Proverbs 16:21) while avoiding self-righteous condemnation (Leviticus 19:18, Mark 12:33, Galatians 5:14). To defend that we shouldn't judge, some will even point to the most famous verse in the Bible, John 3:16-17 (hub, int) but judgement is implied in the very next verse: John 3:18 (hub, int). Jesus's point in those three verses seems to have been judging and condemning were not the purpose for His visit when He was here 2000 years ago. But by all means God judges right from wrong (Isaiah 61:8) and expects us to also (Romans 12:9), which is called discernment. Sadly, sometimes our values/cultural norms are a result of social engineering rather than sound theology. In the 1960s in the USA, a sexual revolution swept the country. Millions were brainwashed with a philosophy of "make love not war". For those who have a hard time letting go, I have sympathy, it sure sounds nice, but we need to let go of the lie that this was ever acceptable. God established moral behavior millennia before that slogan was fed to us. Remember the original temptation recorded for us in Genesis 3:1-5 had exactly the same theme: "judge for yourself what is right and wrong because God's instructions aren't helpful anyway."
Besides the 30+ references to specific forms of sexual immorality given to the Israelites in the law,1 there are still more than 30 more generic references in the New Testament. Including Jesus himself called it "evil" in Matthew & Mark, and He condemned it after His resurrection five times in Revelation:
If Jesus calls "sexual immorality" "evil" and condemns it, then what is meant by "sexual immorality?" A Biblical worldview (which all Christians are supposed to have) would mean we begin our answer with any form of sexual activity, from looking to touching to intercourse, explicitly criticized in scripture (from Genesis to Revelation) and we never excuse ourselves nor our culture to make-up any exceptions.
Even though Jesus died for our sins, there's no way for a believer to rationalize continuing with sexual immorality without demonstrating absolute hypocrisy. Jesus made a scary point at the end of Matthew 7:21-23. Paul made great points in Romans 6:1, 15, and 13, which were echoed in Hebrews 10:26-27, 1 John 3:6, 3:9-10, 5:18, and Jude 1:4. And don't forget, 1 John 5:3 reminds us (declares) that God's commands are not burdensome (some translations say they're not grievous or not too difficult). When we obsess about anything, we make it more difficult for ourselves to stop wanting that thing. Our obsession wasn't God's fault, it was our choice. This is one of many reasons why it's important to be clear on right and wrong up front, and why He went out of His way to warn us in advance on what's long term healthy for us and what's not.
Did you catch what Paul said in the one reference to incest found in the New Testament (1 Corinthians 5:1-5)?
- He declared (after the death and resurrection of Jesus) incest to be one form of sexual immorality. This implies there are other forms.
- Where would Paul have gotten his definition of sexual immorality? Surely, as a devout Jew (Philippians 3:4-6) it wasn't from culture and popular opinion, but rather it was from the law.
- He "passed judgement" (v3) on the unrepentant sexually immoral (v2). This judgement had a consequence, it meant the offender was to be excommunicated from their local assembly (their congregation). Paul did not pretend it was his job to condemn the person, only to set an earthly example of them (v5). He wasn't picking on sexual sin here, he said other times that any believer caught sinning should be courteously confronted about their offense to God and if they don't repent then they're to be removed from the group (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, Titus 3:10-11). If anyone repents, then great, rejoice together!
- To Paul, struggling with sexual sin was no better (nor worse) than struggling with overt greed and murder (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-9, etc.). He doesn't condemn people, but he does implore we not make excuses for ourselves (Romans 1:20, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Colossians 3:2).
At least five immoral topics were not given their own dedicated section on this page:
- Polyamory is where there are more than two people engaged in the act and all are mutually consenting. This doesn't need it's own condemnation in the Bible, it's just another perversion made up by curious, pleasure-seeking mortals. God's opinion on this can be inferred from the rest that He has said explicitly. Whether all parties are consenting is irrelevant compared to whether it's right or wrong. God decides right and wrong, not man, and not our popular opinion. Consensual sex outside of marriage is a nice way of saying fornication and adultery. Both are explicitly condemned, and discussed above. Even if we drum up "scientific" (social) studies that indicate the activity is not harmful (or not very harmful) is also irrelevant compared to whether it's moral.
- Bigamy is entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another. This term is only used in monogamous cultures, which the Bible wasn't, so the concept isn't in the Bible. If a person is bigamous with the intention of remaining monogamous, that means they're just putting the cart before the horse and remarrying before bothering with the divorce. Skipping all social implications of this and just commenting on the moral aspect, avoiding adultery would be exceeding difficult in this situation. This choice sets you up for a conundrum, as it relies on one immoral choice (divorce) to avoid another immoral choice (adultery). So the obvious conclusion is don't entertain this idea. Note, any time any one is acting fatally malicious towards you they gray the lines of propriety. If a spouse has an affair and checks out of the marriage, and the "victim" spouse files for divorce (which is within their moral right), but the spouse who committed the adultery drags their feet at signing divorce papers for no other reason than to be mean to the victim spouse, that scenario reduces the immorality of the victim spouse if they move towards bigamy. This doesn't make bigamy, adultery, nor any sexual sin ok, it just means the point isn't legalism, it's clarity.
- While no section is titled "rape", I do list explicit verses in the "living together without being married" and "abortion" sections above, and clearly it's bad. The key is of course the fact that one party involved is involved against their will. A person's virginity, sexuality, and body are theirs and their Creator's alone. The only way to morally take their virginity is through marriage. God forbade stealing in Exodus 20:15, and forcing someone to do anything that isn't in their best interest is often a sin. There was also Habakkuk 2:15.
- Combine the concepts of rape and prostitution and we get the sex slave trade, which is obviously heinous. Not only did God explicitly forbid stealing but He went further and condemned kidnapping (stealing a human) as a capital crime in Exodus 21:16.
- Sexual harassment on the job is often about an abuse of power. The boss (or someone of higher rank) misusing their position with someone who doesn't want to lose their job. There is little difference with this and rape, even though technically the other party may not have said much in the moment. There are no explicit Bible passages on this because men and women rarely worked together, but more to the point it was clear that sex outside of marriage was condemned.
- Pedophilia and pederasty are other abuses of power. Any other sex between an adult and a minor doesn't have its own name in English, and none of these were explicitly described in the Bible, however, this falls under the category of rape and "anything else" (outside of marriage), and modern cultures aren't obligated to tolerate (much less promote) this perversion just because it's not explicitly described in the Bible. None the less, the Bible does have (and the Church should have) a policy on this. It's even got a universal name. It's called the 7th Commandment, which says don't have sex with anyone you're not married to (Exodus 20:14/Deuteronomy 5:18).
- An important part of sexual intimacy is pleasing your partner, which rape denies.
- Pornography is explicitly referenced in "adultery", "living together before marriage", and "incest", with clear warnings against. Jesus made a comment about money in the Beatitudes that was really more about lust, and applies well here too: Matthew 6:22-23. Job intuited how to be righteous long before God had given the Israelites the law (Job 1:8, Job 31:1). There are numerous verses describing the negative state of exposing private parts:
- Exodus 20:26
- Isaiah 47:3
- Nahum 3:5
- Habakkuk 2:15
- 1 Corinthians 12:23
- Revelation 3:18
- Revelation 16:15
- If taking this stance gets you called prude, just say thank you. It's meant as an insult but think of it as short for prudent (Genesis 50:20, Proverbs 8:5, 12:8, 14:5, 14:18, 21:16). (Etymologically it's not, but it's nice to think of this way.) It's far better than being lewd.
- Remember, as stated in the homosexuality section, we must be careful criticizing people who struggle with sins we don't struggle with. When I was in my early 20's, I was having lunch with some women from work. They started describing how much they lusted after chocolate and dessert and how it was good that it wasn't a sin or they'd be in trouble. So I pointed out to them that's how men feel about women, or at least women's bodies. The ladies let their hypocrisy show through in that moment and they said I and all men have an obligation to ourselves and to all women to simply "get over it" and stop making such a big deal over how hard it is to stop being concupiscent (filled with sexual desire). If God had declared thousands of years ago that lusting after dessert was sinful, I wonder how well women could simply "get over it?" I'm not defending lust, I'm just pointing out that it's easier said than done to stop and we should be careful about how we handle it otherwise we risk ruining our ability to speak into people's lives. Also note, women who simply, resentfully tell men to "get over it," seem to be implying women should be left alone to decide how women may behave and men should butt out of it, and further, if women's appearance or actions cause men to sin then women are absolved of the matter and men are solely responsible for themselves. This is essentially repeating what Cain said: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9b). On some level there is truth to the (both) statement, but the point of saying it is not a declaration of truth and righteousness but rather to shirk off responsibility to our fellow human (Luke 17:1).
- A concubine is a concept that doesn't really exist in my culture, so it doesn't demand an explanation at this time and I lack the perspective to discuss in detail. Generally it seems to be a genuine legal relationship of a man and woman but the concubine lacks the legal (and to some extent, moral) benefits of marriage. While sounding strange, this may be a practice more common in a society that lacks other forms of social security. The conclusions we could draw about concubines (if we ignore the similarities to prostitution and rape) might be similar to polygamy.
- Joseph married an Egyptian (Genesis 41:45)
- Moses married a Midianite (Exodus 2:21) and a Cushite (Numbers 12:1)
- There are four women named in the lineage of Jesus in Luke 3:23-28, and all four were gentiles (foreigners): Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. (Luke didn't name Mary, for interesting reason but not in scope of this article.)
Since there are no verses instructing us on when kissing (osculation) is appropriate, it's technically not a Biblically defined (nor constrained) standard. Certainly the goal should be to maintain sexual purity, avoid the slippery slope, and demonstrate a good example to others who may be weaker than you. As with abortion and divorce, which aren't specifically sexual immorality but typically result from it, kissing isn't specifically sexual immortality either but could lead to it, so must be addressed with care.
It's also worth noting that sexual immorality doesn't exist inside an airtight heterosexual marriage. Our culture is permeated with toxic immorality. Oddly enough, we've divorced sex from marriage, and as a result some of us grow up idolizing sex, and some of us cope by shutting down and demonizing any sexual activity beyond baby making. Both are extremes and neither optimal nor necessary. There are no Biblical constraints on what a husband and wife may do together. The only inferable restriction is both parties must be willing, and beyond that our imagination and our stamina are the only limits. And a word of caution, our stamina falls short significantly sooner than our imagination. Very annoying, but true.3 By the way, habitually denying your spouse copulation is asking for trouble, even if neither of you believes in divorce (plus, it's rude: Exodus 21:10, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5,9). That said, habitually demanding sex more often than your spouse wants is also just as rude (Philippians 2:3).
For those who identify with Jesus, we have an obligation to care about what God cares about, and we should take seriously what He's told us in His word. The foundation for all our beliefs (morals) should begin with the Bible, and only when the Bible doesn't address a topic may we make up our own opinions. And even then, we always need to be aligned with what it does say. When we simply look at scripture it's clear we should base our gender identity on our biological sex. Exactly how the sexes behave is not God's point because He isn't a micromanager. His point is love should be a central theme in all we do, and our good character (not to mention faith) is at the core of His concern for our thoughts and actions. And there's an important detail that our life isn't about us, it's supposed to glorify our Creator (Isaiah 42:6). But all too often we end up disgracing Him (Leviticus 19:12, Ezekiel 36:22-23, Romans 2:24).
Remember, be holy
- Leviticus 19:2 hub
- Matthew 5:14 hub
- Matthew 7:21-23 hub
- Romans 6:11-14 hub
- Romans 12:1 hub
- 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 hub
- 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 hub
- 1 Corinthians 6:20 hub
- 1 Corinthians 10:31 hub
- Ephesians 5:3 hub
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 hub
- 2 Timothy 2:19 hub
- Hebrews 12:14 hub
- 1 Peter 4:3 hub
- 1 John 2:15-17 hub
- 1 John 3:8-10 hub
The prophets Nathan (2 Samuel 12:10) and Solomon (Proverbs 2:16-18) reminded us that marriages are initiated with a wedding in a church for a reason. It's a commitment before God first, and then men, and God cares if we break that commitment. (This doesn't mean weddings outside of churches are specifically wrong, it just means there was a basis for the tradition of them being performed in a church.) If marriage is [intended to be] a commitment before God, then God has a say in how we may honor Him. If He's been recorded as repeatedly saying homosexuality is wrong, then homosexual marriage is necessarily wrong. If He's specifically condemned having sex with your mother, sister, or daughter, then marrying her would necessarily be wrong, too. If He's declared bestiality a capital crime, then marrying your pet would be necessarily wrong.
Last Modified: Thursday, December 14, 2023
