Biblical Gender Identity: Marriage (Jayden12 Mobile)

Biblical Gender Identity

Site: Jayden12.com › Rock › Gender Identity › Marriage (Mobile) - Full Site

Section: Intro ⋅ Single ⋅ Marriage ⋅ Adultery ⋅ Living Together Not Married ⋅ Prostitution ⋅ Cross Dressing ⋅ Homosexuality ⋅ Animals ⋅ Incest ⋅ Self ⋅ Cycle ⋅ Polygamy ⋅ Divorce ⋅ Abortion ⋅ Adoption ⋅ Style ⋅ General ⋅ Conclusions

Disclaimers:

1. This is a mature topic only intended for people who've at least begun puberty. If you are less than 13 years old then I pray you don't have any reason to concern yourself with this yet, and you should ask a trustworthy adult before reading this. (My Family in the Bible page (here) is meant for all ages.)

2. This summary is not intended for general counseling, it is for those who want to know what the Bible says on this topic, and for those who claim the Bible is silent or says the opposite, plus a little commentary to get us started on what it means and how all this fits in a Biblical worldview.

Marriage

⚭

Arguably the most obvious and important element in gender identity is inter-gender relations, including and especially the biological activity of procreation, or having sex. So then, the first question is: when is the activity of sex allowed or even encouraged, from a Biblical perspective? Here is a fairly exhaustive list of the references:

Genesis 1:27-28 hub
Genesis 2:24-25 hub
Genesis 9:1 hub
Genesis 9:7 hub
Exodus 21:10 hub
Proverbs 5:18-19 hub
Song of Solomon 4:8-5:1 hub
Malachi 2:15 hub
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 hub
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 hub

From a Biblical worldview perspective, the only place sex is meant to fit into life is inside the closed relationship of a husband and wife, most notably for (but not limited to) procreation. It's intended to specifically be a conjugal activity. In other words, sex is a consecration of marriage, not the other way around. Anything else was understood in Biblical times to be "sexual immorality." The Sexual Revolution, which began in the 1960s¹, proved to be extremely successful at convincing much of society that it is okay to separate the sexual act from the confines of marriage. Once this was done, the floodgates opened. Sex outside of marriage is now so culturally accepted that it's considered a rite of passage, and consequence-free sex-on-demand is increasingly gaining support to becoming a human right. However, God's opinion was explicitly, repeatedly stated in the Bible very clearly: it's a right of marriage (Exodus 21:10), there is a universal call to chastity, and no one is exempt. There is simply no provision for sexual intercourse, sexual touching, or sexual visuals outside of a valid marriage, and those who are married live chastely by complete fidelity to one another.²

Jerry Seinfeld was once asked which episode was his favorite of his 9-season-running TV show? He replied that was like asking a person which breath of air was your favorite. Whichever breath gets us to the next breath is arguably our favorite. At no point in your life will you ever look back more than a couple hours later and think to yourself, "that was great sex, I'm still satisfied and just going to revel in that." Many of the shows we see on TV and in the movies would have us believe that having sex is truly satisfying and fills a void in our soul. But I'm afraid that's a lie, and if that's our expectation then we're going to be sadly disappointed. Rather, compare it to dessert after dinner. There's no such thing as a dessert that satisfies for more than a few hours. We always want more. In fact, the better it is, the more we want more. Only a healthy relationship with our Creator can fill that void in our soul. Sex is just an experience that is meant to be repeatedly enjoyed without providing any lasting fulfillment, like breathing, eating, and back rubs. Which can definitely be annoying when we just can't get it out of our mind, but it's not very surprising considering the first thing God said to us (in Genesis 1:28) was to multiply and fill the earth. Just remember people are not things to be consumed, nor are we things to be arbitrarily experienced. We are people, made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). Sex is a one of kind reward for a one of a kind relationship. The best way to make sex the recurring event we want it to be (and as a bonus, the best way to make it the most meaningful) is the way God designed it. If we take our Bible seriously then that only way is inside an airtight, heterosexual, until death do you part, marriage. And that's literal, by the way. Jesus reinforced in Matthew 22:30 that marriage is over when one of you dies. There is no dishonor in marrying someone else after your spouse dies, in which case 1 Corinthians 7:5 applies just as much to the next spouse as it did to the original. Adultery cannot be committed against someone who's dead (Romans 7:1-3).

Pam Stenzel pointed out "opposites might attract when it comes to personality but never when it comes to character... You have to be what you want, and that's how you'll get it." Date and marry someone for who they are and have potential to be, not just who they have potential to be. In other words, don't marry someone for who you think you can turn them into. Wouldn't that be so depressing to find out the person you married, only married you for who they wanted to manipulate and turn you into, not because of who you are and who you thought you could be? Don't do that to someone else. So if you're single, who should you look for to marry? One short answer is someone who has prioritized making themself right with God above gratifying their own desires. Our Creator cares deeply about each of us, so it's perfectly normal He cares who we marry.

Dating advice

Exodus 34:15-16 hub
Deuteronomy 7:3-4 hub
Deuteronomy 23:2 hub
Proverbs 19:14 hub
Proverbs 21:19 hub
Proverbs 31:30 hub
Malachi 2:11-12 hub
1 Corinthians 7:39 hub
2 Corinthians 6:14 hub

Romance is easier to initiate than to sustain.

Marriage advice

Genesis 2:18 hub
Exodus 20:17 hub
Deuteronomy 24:5 hub
Proverbs 18:22 hub
Ecclesiastes 9:9 hub
Galatians 5:22-23 hub
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 hub
1 Corinthians 13 hub
Ephesians 5:22-33 hub
Ephesians 6:4 hub
Colossians 3:18-21 hub
Hebrews 13:4 hub
1 Peter 3:1-7 hub

For any feminist reading this, don't worry, even though Paul encourages distinct roles for men and women, including wives submitting to their husbands, Jesus pointed out there has always been equality between the sexes in Mark 10:11-12 when He said it was equally wrong for a woman to divorce her husband as it was for a man to divorce his wife.

Even though marriage as a specific human concept can be traced back to Genesis 2:24, it's only a command if you intend to have sex. We're all only supposed to lose (give away) our virginity when we are consummating our marriage (wedding). Marriage is about commitment and dedication, which is why the "try it before you buy it" approach stunts or even condemns the relationship for most couples. While American (and other) cultures look down on arranged marriages or the idea of "learning to love" your spouse over time, there is an important detail to acknowledge. The paradigm of love-initiated marriages seems to have forgotten something arranged marriages have not. They've forgotten that marriage is a permanent alliance, with significant political, economic, emotional, and social implications, even if you divorce or annul. Too many people marry because that's the natural progression of their dating relationship, which too often only began because of physical attraction. But are you really ready to dedicate your life to this other person, to put them first, to help them achieve their life goals, to go to holidays at their parent's house, to "do" Christmas the way they did it, to support (or at least put up with) their political ideals, to dump all your discretionary income (or more) into their hobbies? Are they willing to do all this for you? It's not just about having sex and someone to keep you company while watching TV. When you have kids, your life (as you know it) is supposed to be over, because it's that much work to raise good kids (Malachi 2:15). You're only supposed to give up your own childhood and focus on raising another human when your own childhood is over (when you're ready). There's no exact age for this, some are ready in their late teens, others need more time to mature (Ezekiel 16:8). Our exact age isn't the point, our character and maturity are (but age is a reasonable baseline/starting point). However, there's a reason that girls experience puberty on average between the ages of 10 and 14 and boys between 12 and 16. This is when we're biologically able to start having families of our own, therefore it's not a stretch to think our society should prepare us to be mentally ready (mature enough) by these ages, too.

By the way, the reason teens are so annoyingly stubborn with their parents, and parents seem so dumb to their teens, is probably encapsulated in Genesis 2:24. It's probably biological hardwiring to set up the scenario where teens choose to leave their family of birth to go off and form their family of choice, and so parents are optimally happy to see them go. This has only been complicated and confused by the recent concept of going to school until we're 20.

If you're not married then don't pretend you are by going through the motions of having sex. Next let's look at some deviations from the ideal, and explore some of the reasoning and consequences. Besides the "anything else" mentioned above, we'll be clear on the varieties of "sexual immorality" the Bible specifically warns us against. Because the Bible is God's word, God is our Creator, He knows how He designed us, how He designed life to work best, and it's actually cool that He shared so much of that design with us. But many in our culture today (some self label as "progressive") act as if life without moral boundaries is cool, and sexual standards are backwards, counterproductive, stupid, and evil. The boundaries God gave were not meant to lock us in a prison, they were to establish a safe playground. We should not scorn Him but should take Him seriously, which starts with knowing what He said.

Marriage Footnotes

The explicit Sexual Revolution began in the 1960s in the USA, though we were neither the first nor last country to experience this rebellion. But there were at least two undercurrents, much more subtle, which preceded that perfect storm: city life (article) and penicillin (article). (return)

Most of the words in the second half of this paragraph are quoted from this blog post. (return)

Last Modified: Thursday, January 27, 2022


	Biblical Gender Identity Site: Jayden12.com › Rock › Gender Identity › Marriage (Mobile) - Full Site Section: Intro ⋅ Single ⋅ Marriage ⋅ Adultery ⋅ Living Together Not Married ⋅ Prostitution ⋅ Cross Dressing ⋅ Homosexuality ⋅ Animals ⋅ Incest ⋅ Self ⋅ Cycle ⋅ Polygamy ⋅ Divorce ⋅ Abortion ⋅ Adoption ⋅ Style ⋅ General ⋅ Conclusions Disclaimers: 1. This is a mature topic only intended for people who've at least begun puberty. If you are less than 13 years old then I pray you don't have any reason to concern yourself with this yet, and you should ask a trustworthy adult before reading this. (My Family in the Bible page (here) is meant for all ages.) 2. This summary is not intended for general counseling, it is for those who want to know what the Bible says on this topic, and for those who claim the Bible is silent or says the opposite, plus a little commentary to get us started on what it means and how all this fits in a Biblical worldview.

	Marriage ⚭

	Arguably the most obvious and important element in gender identity is inter-gender relations, including and especially the biological activity of procreation, or having sex. So then, the first question is: when is the activity of sex allowed or even encouraged, from a Biblical perspective? Here is a fairly exhaustive list of the references: Genesis 1:27-28 hub Genesis 2:24-25 hub Genesis 9:1 hub Genesis 9:7 hub Exodus 21:10 hub Proverbs 5:18-19 hub Song of Solomon 4:8-5:1 hub Malachi 2:15 hub 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 hub 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 hub From a Biblical worldview perspective, the only place sex is meant to fit into life is inside the closed relationship of a husband and wife, most notably for (but not limited to) procreation. It's intended to specifically be a conjugal activity. In other words, sex is a consecration of marriage, not the other way around. Anything else was understood in Biblical times to be "sexual immorality." The Sexual Revolution, which began in the 1960s¹, proved to be extremely successful at convincing much of society that it is okay to separate the sexual act from the confines of marriage. Once this was done, the floodgates opened. Sex outside of marriage is now so culturally accepted that it's considered a rite of passage, and consequence-free sex-on-demand is increasingly gaining support to becoming a human right. However, God's opinion was explicitly, repeatedly stated in the Bible very clearly: it's a right of marriage (Exodus 21:10), there is a universal call to chastity, and no one is exempt. There is simply no provision for sexual intercourse, sexual touching, or sexual visuals outside of a valid marriage, and those who are married live chastely by complete fidelity to one another.² Jerry Seinfeld was once asked which episode was his favorite of his 9-season-running TV show? He replied that was like asking a person which breath of air was your favorite. Whichever breath gets us to the next breath is arguably our favorite. At no point in your life will you ever look back more than a couple hours later and think to yourself, "that was great sex, I'm still satisfied and just going to revel in that." Many of the shows we see on TV and in the movies would have us believe that having sex is truly satisfying and fills a void in our soul. But I'm afraid that's a lie, and if that's our expectation then we're going to be sadly disappointed. Rather, compare it to dessert after dinner. There's no such thing as a dessert that satisfies for more than a few hours. We always want more. In fact, the better it is, the more we want more. Only a healthy relationship with our Creator can fill that void in our soul. Sex is just an experience that is meant to be repeatedly enjoyed without providing any lasting fulfillment, like breathing, eating, and back rubs. Which can definitely be annoying when we just can't get it out of our mind, but it's not very surprising considering the first thing God said to us (in Genesis 1:28) was to multiply and fill the earth. Just remember people are not things to be consumed, nor are we things to be arbitrarily experienced. We are people, made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). Sex is a one of kind reward for a one of a kind relationship. The best way to make sex the recurring event we want it to be (and as a bonus, the best way to make it the most meaningful) is the way God designed it. If we take our Bible seriously then that only way is inside an airtight, heterosexual, until death do you part, marriage. And that's literal, by the way. Jesus reinforced in Matthew 22:30 that marriage is over when one of you dies. There is no dishonor in marrying someone else after your spouse dies, in which case 1 Corinthians 7:5 applies just as much to the next spouse as it did to the original. Adultery cannot be committed against someone who's dead (Romans 7:1-3). Pam Stenzel pointed out "opposites might attract when it comes to personality but never when it comes to character... You have to be what you want, and that's how you'll get it." Date and marry someone for who they are and have potential to be, not just who they have potential to be. In other words, don't marry someone for who you think you can turn them into. Wouldn't that be so depressing to find out the person you married, only married you for who they wanted to manipulate and turn you into, not because of who you are and who you thought you could be? Don't do that to someone else. So if you're single, who should you look for to marry? One short answer is someone who has prioritized making themself right with God above gratifying their own desires. Our Creator cares deeply about each of us, so it's perfectly normal He cares who we marry. Dating advice Exodus 34:15-16 hub Deuteronomy 7:3-4 hub Deuteronomy 23:2 hub Proverbs 19:14 hub Proverbs 21:19 hub Proverbs 31:30 hub Malachi 2:11-12 hub 1 Corinthians 7:39 hub 2 Corinthians 6:14 hub Romance is easier to initiate than to sustain. Marriage advice Genesis 2:18 hub Exodus 20:17 hub Deuteronomy 24:5 hub Proverbs 18:22 hub Ecclesiastes 9:9 hub Galatians 5:22-23 hub 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 hub 1 Corinthians 13 hub Ephesians 5:22-33 hub Ephesians 6:4 hub Colossians 3:18-21 hub Hebrews 13:4 hub 1 Peter 3:1-7 hub For any feminist reading this, don't worry, even though Paul encourages distinct roles for men and women, including wives submitting to their husbands, Jesus pointed out there has always been equality between the sexes in Mark 10:11-12 when He said it was equally wrong for a woman to divorce her husband as it was for a man to divorce his wife. Even though marriage as a specific human concept can be traced back to Genesis 2:24, it's only a command if you intend to have sex. We're all only supposed to lose (give away) our virginity when we are consummating our marriage (wedding). Marriage is about commitment and dedication, which is why the "try it before you buy it" approach stunts or even condemns the relationship for most couples. While American (and other) cultures look down on arranged marriages or the idea of "learning to love" your spouse over time, there is an important detail to acknowledge. The paradigm of love-initiated marriages seems to have forgotten something arranged marriages have not. They've forgotten that marriage is a permanent alliance, with significant political, economic, emotional, and social implications, even if you divorce or annul. Too many people marry because that's the natural progression of their dating relationship, which too often only began because of physical attraction. But are you really ready to dedicate your life to this other person, to put them first, to help them achieve their life goals, to go to holidays at their parent's house, to "do" Christmas the way they did it, to support (or at least put up with) their political ideals, to dump all your discretionary income (or more) into their hobbies? Are they willing to do all this for you? It's not just about having sex and someone to keep you company while watching TV. When you have kids, your life (as you know it) is supposed to be over, because it's that much work to raise good kids (Malachi 2:15). You're only supposed to give up your own childhood and focus on raising another human when your own childhood is over (when you're ready). There's no exact age for this, some are ready in their late teens, others need more time to mature (Ezekiel 16:8). Our exact age isn't the point, our character and maturity are (but age is a reasonable baseline/starting point). However, there's a reason that girls experience puberty on average between the ages of 10 and 14 and boys between 12 and 16. This is when we're biologically able to start having families of our own, therefore it's not a stretch to think our society should prepare us to be mentally ready (mature enough) by these ages, too. By the way, the reason teens are so annoyingly stubborn with their parents, and parents seem so dumb to their teens, is probably encapsulated in Genesis 2:24. It's probably biological hardwiring to set up the scenario where teens choose to leave their family of birth to go off and form their family of choice, and so parents are optimally happy to see them go. This has only been complicated and confused by the recent concept of going to school until we're 20. If you're not married then don't pretend you are by going through the motions of having sex. Next let's look at some deviations from the ideal, and explore some of the reasoning and consequences. Besides the "anything else" mentioned above, we'll be clear on the varieties of "sexual immorality" the Bible specifically warns us against. Because the Bible is God's word, God is our Creator, He knows how He designed us, how He designed life to work best, and it's actually cool that He shared so much of that design with us. But many in our culture today (some self label as "progressive") act as if life without moral boundaries is cool, and sexual standards are backwards, counterproductive, stupid, and evil. The boundaries God gave were not meant to lock us in a prison, they were to establish a safe playground. We should not scorn Him but should take Him seriously, which starts with knowing what He said. Marriage Footnotes The explicit Sexual Revolution began in the 1960s in the USA, though we were neither the first nor last country to experience this rebellion. But there were at least two undercurrents, much more subtle, which preceded that perfect storm: city life (article) and penicillin (article). (return) Most of the words in the second half of this paragraph are quoted from this blog post. (return) Last Modified: Thursday, January 27, 2022